Accommodation with Sin. A gay man renounces gay sex for celibacy

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Accommodation with Sin

By Frank Worthen, Director of New Hope Ministries, San Rafael, California.

Mike was angry. I had just finished speaking on God's power to change lives. Many in the meeting were excited about the prospect of change, but Mike took the change messages as a personal affront. He felt like someone had just stabbed his heart. "What you're saying is that I am not acceptable to God just the way I am," he said. "I haven't had sex in two years. Just how long do I have to go before God accepts me, ten years?" His voice raised and he was showing a great amount of emotion. "I'm gay and that's it! God made me gay, I've always been gay, I always will be gay. Because I believe in God, I have put sex behind me. Isn't that enough? What more does God want? I think you are putting words in God's mouth and I won't take it. God loves me like I am, a homosexual."

I wasn't angry at Mike, but I did feel very sorry for him. He had built a fortress around himself and he wasn't going to allow anyone to change his circumstances. Mike had been attending the meetings for some time now, and it was apparent that he had few friends. He had placed himself in self-imposed isolation. Obviously, he was comfortable within the confines of his personal castle, yet, he was missing out on multiple blessings that God wanted him to enjoy.

Mike's life was secure, but empty - empty of human contact and human warmth. Mike, as a defense mechanism had also allowed himself to become unattractive to others. He had let his body deteriorate and his gruff mannerisms often offended others. In truth, he was threatened by others; he lived a life of fear. What would happen if he should become attracted to another man and had to face the possibility of losing his two years of celibacy? He couldn't take that risk.

Although Mike had built a wall and said to God: "This far and no further." Mike was still attempting to serve God as best he knew how. He had a heart desire for God. He knew the living God. He was not like others who claimed a homosexual identity and have set the genuine God aside and created for themselves a false God that is easier to serve.

When the Israelites confronted their new king at the death of Solomon, they found to their dismay that they were about to enter a period of increased hardship. (I Kings 12:14). This was an affliction they were unwilling to bear. Most of the tribes separated from the family of tribes, left their roots behind and set off on their own. Almost immediately they set up two golden calves to be worshipped. They created their own gods, gods they could control and live with. Such it is with the gay church. They have been rejected by the traditional church and they have rebelled and made their own gods which they serve. This god blesses their homosexuality and pronounces it a blessing. This is a militant god to force all other gods to retreat. In the fervor of proclaiming this new message, the voice of the only real God is drowned out.

With in every person the real God has erected walls against sinful behavior. These are our natural inhibitions that came with us at birth. These walls must be tipped over in order to enjoy forbidden pleasures and to silence the voice of the true God. The sad and disturbing fact is that the true God will retreat and allow His created people to have their way. This is the great penalty found in Romans the first chapter. What your heart wants, God will eventually allow you to have to your own destruction.

In the process of getting what we desire, we will have exchanged the truth of God for a lie. (Romans 1:25). The other two exchanges, God replaced by man, and exchanging the natural for the unnatural are soon to follow. Scripture goes on to say that because this was their desire, God gave them over to these unholy desires. In other words, God no longer interfered in their lives. He stopped speaking to them and allowed them to go their own way. God then declares that these people are not His (Romans 8:9). Fortunately, since many of us have been in just such a situation, God does allow His prodigals to return. Scripture tells us in II Thessalonians chapter two that because the people are lawless, God allows a strong delusion to all who have delighted in wickedness. Those who worship a different god and follow a different gospel (Gal. 1:6) believe that their dead idols speak. To reassure themselves, they attempt to convince others to follow their gods of lawlessness. Yet, with in their heart, there remains a nagging doubt. To silence this inner-voice, they shout all the louder, they attack those who continually confirm that doubt. They attempt to silence their fears. It is difficult to live with an uneasy and restless soul.

We have a third category of people, those who are openly homosexual and desire no relationship with God at all. They perhaps are the more honest because they attempt to destroy the real God but make no attempts at building an altar to any false gods. To them Christianity represents a hostile force that must be defeated at all costs. If they can succeed at destroying God, they then can find a measure of peace. But God is hard to kill off. If they have some success in one area, God reappears in another. It is a constant battle to eradicate God.

All three echo the same words: "Don't tell me the truth, I don't want to hear it. Change is my enemy." God loves all three. He is grieved by those who hate Him and see Him as their enemy. He is also grieved by those who have set Him aside and opted for another god. But He is also saddened by those who refuse His rich gift of change. He desires the best for those He loves. He stands outside a wire fence, looking in at His creations wanting to bless them and to interact in their lives, but they will not open the gate and allow Him inside.

Mike fears losing his identity. No doubt in growing up, Mike, like may people struggling with homosexuality, was searching for an identity. It can be very distressing not to know who you really are. We often back into our identity, being forced by circumstances and the opinions of others to accept a designated identity. The homosexual identity was obviously preferable to no identity at all.

Here were a people like himself, people struggling with the same issues that Mike was facing. It seemed to Mike as if he had at long last found his missing brotherhood. Here was belonging and affirmation, the things not found elsewhere, in family, in church, in the world. So Mike gladly accepted the gay identity. To him it was a good thing, a protection from the rejection of the world. It is not easy to turn from the things that once held so much promise and once seemed so good, to renounce it and declare it wrong and sin just because a handful of God's people say it is wrong.

Mike was defensive of that which still satisfied some of his needs. Mike had a foot in both worlds. The gay lifestyle still held his interest and controlled him in many ways. This is understandable, and God understand this as well, but God is grieved when we accept Him only in part and not unconditionally. God wants to deliver something far better, and that gift has been rejected.

Fortunate for us, God is the "Hound of Heaven" and His everlasting love will not let us go. Those that allow Him in, even if it is only into a small part of their being, will find that God will continue to lead them into all truth. While God never changes, God always has change in mind. He will shelter those he loves and speak to them personally. Others too, will be used by God to challenge and confront.

We often hear these words: "Homosexual behavior is sin, the orientation is not." Those of us who have struggled with homosexual desires did not ask to become homosexual. So, we are not responsible for our orientation. God, however, did not create the homosexual orientation. It did not exist before the fall but was a product of the fall. What we are responsible for is to be willing to part with that orientation when God offers us this opportunity. The orientation definitely "misses the mark" which is the definition of sin. To embrace the gay lifestyle, but not to indulge in gay sex is to walk on the rim of a volcano; better to run from the whole concept of homosexuality and embrace God with our whole heart.

The day is coming when we must stand alone before God and give an accounting of our lives. How difficult it will be to admit that we choose the imperfect over the perfect, a fallen condition over God's intended wholeness. We must desire to be all that God wants us to be. This requires a surrender of our wills and a submission to God's will. All who do this are never disappointed. God has great blessing in store for those who will trust in Him completely.

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